Monday, December 8, 2008

New contender

I've been dormant for weeks. My last few posts were made in the week leading up to LSU's loss to Alabama at Tiger Stadium a month ago.

I'm sorry, dear blog, it's been so long. There is something, however, that has awoken me from this literary slumber. While it's nothing of literary value - well, on the surface ... I don't want to get into the philosophical intricacies of how a woman's beauty can elicit magnitudes of poetic masterpiece - it warrants attention.

That it is Stana Katic, who could very well take the No. 1 spot on my list, stealing a post Mercury girl Jill Wagner has owned for months.

Without further adieu ...


STANA KATIC

Stana Katic [3] Pictures, Images and Photos


Here's another good picture of the lady ...

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTM0NjgwMDAyN15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwMTE0Njk3._V1._SX267_SY400_.jpg

Friday, November 7, 2008

Earthquake possible Saturday in BRLA just after 2:30 p.m.

Terrence Cody, Bama DT, 6-5, 365

Terrence Cody Pictures, Images and Photos

VERSUS

Herman Johnson, LSU G, 6-8, 360

Herman Johnson Pictures, Images and Photos

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Two days ...

THE HATED

Nick Saban Pictures, Images and Photos


THE HATTED

THE MAN Pictures, Images and Photos

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

He's baaa-aaaack

The engineer of LSU's ascension to college football royalty, Nick Saban, returns to Tiger Stadium for the first time since leaving the Tigers after the 2004 season. Saban's No. 1-ranked Alabama Crimson Tide enters Saturday's game 9-0 with one of the nation's best offensive lines and defenses.

We are grateful for what Saban brought us in 2003, and his role in resurrecting the program from the depths Gerry DiNardo and others left it in. However, Saban could have stayed in Baton Rouge as long as he wanted, perhaps winning national championships in 2006 and 2007.

He chose to leave for the Miami Dolphins.

Then ... he arrived in Tuscaloosa.

The Hat shall not greet him hospitably. Nor shall his team, the Fightin' Tigers of LSU, come 2:30 p.m., Saturday, November 8, 2008.


Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Crunkness

Bama 'backer Rolando McClain

Rolando McClain Pictures, Images and Photos



VERSUS



LSU tailback Charles Scott

Charles Scott and Demetrius Byrd Pictures, Images and Photos

Monday, November 3, 2008

Get. Crunk. All. Week.

No. 1 Alabama at No. 15 LSU, 2:30 p.m., Saturday, Tiger Stadium, Baton Rouge

I'll be there. Therefore, I must get crunk all week in preparation.


Thursday, October 23, 2008

I'm an addict

Thanks to a particular friend of mine, I've become hooked on YouTube.

There are so many hilarious videos. I could watch all day.

The best ones typically involve people trying to make music videos, or anger management issues of people in public, such as the famous, "CRAZY GIRL ON A TRAIN."

However, the video my friend sent that got me started on my YouTube binge came from the normally-awful Mad TV. She sent me this, and it was all downhill from there:


Saturday, October 18, 2008

I'll take it ...

LSU's defense gives up 212 first-half yards and trails 17-10 at the half.

LSU's defense gives up 42 second-half yards and outscores South Carolina 14-0 for a 24-17 road win.

Any time the Tigers beat Steve Spurrier, I'll take it.

Big games from the defensive line, Charles Scott, and Keiland Williams. Of course, some credit goes to the O-line. LSU ran for 164 yards on 48 carries. Not a great average, but if you're running the ball 48 times, you're doing something well enough to keep running it.

Georgia's up next. Oh man.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

College football Players of the Week

Offense - Jeff Demps, RB, Florida

Demps rushed for 126 yards on 10 carries and epitomized the speed-kills mentality of Florida's offense in the Gators' 51-21 destruction of the defending national champion Saturday in The Swamp. Demps has plenty of help, too. Chris Rainey and Percy Harvin were great as Urban Meyer's offense finally looked like Urban Meyer's offense is supposed to.

Defense - Brian Orakpo, DE, Texas

I don't know how many times I've gotta say it before y'all listen. Brian Orakpo is a fur-and-teeth-bearing, fourth-grader-devouring, fully-grown man-beast. He had two sacks against Oklahoma in Saturday's Red River Shootout, which gives him seven this season. He's the headliner of a Texas front seven that has been eating opposing quarterbacks alive through the first half of the season.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Fast-food greatness

Chicken Express hit Longview on Monday, giving my fair city the greatest fast-food establishment this world has ever seen. I've eaten it each of the three days since it opened. I must stop.

In honor of Chicken Express, I'd like to rank the top fast-food joints, according to my infinite wisdom pertaining to deep-fried, lard-based foodstuffs (thanks, Bec, I like that word now that you've introduced it to me. Well, not introduced, but made me more aware of. I guess.)

1.Chicken Express - Strips, a biscuit, a gravy cup, aneurysm-inducing sweet tea, and your choice of numerous sides, including heavenly corn nuggets (that's a little redundant). Also, gizzards and livers available. This place is unbeatable.

2.David Beard's Catfish King - Yes, you can sit down and enjoy it. But you can also drive through and get you some catfish, which happens to be my favorite food in the entire world. Now, don't confuse it with David Beard's Catfish Village. The more dressed-up David Beard's facilities aren't half as good in product. Roll through the King, order some fish, and make sure you get some of the fries and extra-mealy hushpuppies. Glorious.

3.Raising Cane's - Raising Cane's is awesome. Any place serving chicken strips and various side items is cool with me. They even have their own signature sauce. NOTE: Those same three sentences can be stated for the College Station eatery known as Layne's. It's Raising Cane's, only on a single-business scale.

4.Church's Chicken - Unofficial restaurant of the Brooks family. I've witnessed my Uncle Jon eat a 10-piece mix by himself in about half an hour. Church's also has the best fast-food okra you can find. For regular-chicken purposes, Church's is the top dawg.

5.Whataburger - Best fast-food hamburger you'll ever find. Try the double Whataburger, no cheese, no mayonnaise, no mustard. It's beef-tastic. I don't even like beef very much. And Whataburger also provides the world's best fast-food onion rings.

6.Chick-fil-A - America's first large-scale dealer of the chicken sandwich. And those waffle fries. Whoa. Thank you, Atlanta, for a wonderful contribution to the Southern food landscape. You birthed Coca-Cola, but didn't stop there. We're all in your debt.

7.Popeye's - The chicken's pretty dang good, but not quite on the Church's level. However, the assortment of options at Popeye's makes up for it. Red beans and rice, dirty rice, restaurant-quality popcorn shrimp, popcorn shrimp sandwiches, and those biscuits that are purportedly used as monetary units in some parts of the rural South. Dang, fool.

8.Taco Cabana - Restaurant-quality Mexican food quick, easy, and cheap. I frequented Taco Cabana during my two years in Denton, Texas, and never got tired of the sour cream chicken enchiladas. I even liked the beans! I always order double rice, no beans, yet did not always do that at Taco C. Maybe the best place to go in the world when it's 3 a.m. and you're in a college town.

9.Long John Silver's - Fried, fried, and more fried. I've always had a soft spot for LJS's, especially the fish, hushpuppies, and fries. They were my favorite fries when I was a kid. Although the quality's dropped a little - the clams used to be awesome back in the day; now, not so much - you can depend on the swarthy ol' pirate to provide you with some good, artery-clogging goodness that just might leave a crater in your colon, too.

10.Krispy Kreme - I'm not a dessert guy. And yeah, I know donuts (doughnuts, whatever) are classified as breakfast. I'd rather eat my Krispy Kremes after another meal, though, seeing how I'm rarely awake before noon. This is the ultimate fast-food, sweet-tooth concoction. Krispy Kreme is to donuts what John Goodman's character in "The Big Lebowski" is to classic cinema. For those of you who say Krispy Kreme is too sweet, I don't wanna hear that weak stuff. Step your game up, haterz.

Monday, October 6, 2008

READY. FOR. THE. WEEKEND.

Guess what?

Somebody's got a free ticket to the Red River Shootout.

Actually, my buddy David has four. This should be glorious.

Biggest initial concern: LSU @ Florida game time. I looked at the TV schedule, and discovered that the Horns and Sooners play at 11 a.m. The Mad Hatters face the Gators in The Swamp at 7 p.m.

Perfect.

Finish up late Friday with high school football, drive to Dallas around 1 a.m., then get up early and get a pre-game corn dog or seven before the 11 o'clock kickoff. Watch the game, get outta Dallas in time to watch this week's Clash of the Titans on CBS.

I love Verne Lundquist.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Oct. 1 LNJ college football column

Here's the latest installation of my weekly college football column from the Longview News-Journal. Copy and paste the link - since I don't know how to link directly - into your URL slot, or whatever it's called, to read my current top 5, along with things to look for this weekend in the Big 12 South's opening set of conference games.

http://www.news-journal.com/search/content/sports/stories/2008/10/01/10012008_brookscolumn.html

Feel free to navigate back here and comment, or comment at the bottom of the column on the LNJ Web site.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Honorable mention

Let's face it: Who can match Jill Wagner?

For me right now, Maria Menounos is as close as it gets.


New No. 1

You know her from those commercials, the "You've gotta put Mercury on your list." Maybe the Blade TV series.

I know her as Jill Wagner, my new No. 1.


Monday, September 29, 2008

Football - Weekend Review

The three teams I thought would be the nation's best were all beaten within a three-day span.

- Oregon State stunned USC in Corvallis
- Ole Miss shocked Florida in The Swamp
- Alabama manhandled Georgia Between the Hedges

That leaves the college football landscape shrouded in uncertainty.

Is Alabama really the second-best team in the country? Right now, maybe, but I doubt that'll be the case for the remainder of the season. When I think of Alabama playing Oklahoma, I immediately pencil in OU as the winner. However, I think Georgia, despite the loss, is a more talented team than OU, and considering that, maybe Alabama could beat the top-ranked Sooners.

What I can't get out of my head is the Nov. 8 Saban Bowl -- Bama at LSU. My foam at the mouth just thinking about how awesome it will be to watch these two sets of lines battle. Alabama's offensive line vs. LSU's defensive line should be glorious; think about OT Andre Smith facing DE Tyson Jackson, and C Antoine Caldwell battling DTs Ricky Jean-Francois and Marlon Favorite. On the other side, imagine watching Bama man mountain DT Terrence Cody (6-5, 365) against LSU G Herman Johnson (6-8, 350), the largest baby ever born in Louisiana (almost 15 pounds).

I attended the Texas-Arkansas bloodletting and came away impressed by the Horns' new end zone complex, which pushes capacity to more than 98,000. It doesn't even look like the same stadium, and although I was sitting about a mile from the field, I could tell that with one end completely closed that the noise level now is higher than it was before when both ends were open.

I also left DKR-Texas Memorial Stadium knowing that DE Brian Orakpo is a grown man. He wreaked havoc on Casey Dick and the 'Backs all afternoon. I think he's a solid candidate as an NFL hybrid LB prospect.

Sunday, I attended my first professional football game: Washington at Dallas.

I offer two numbers that explain why Dallas lost -- 47 and 11. That's Dallas' passing attempts vs. Dallas' rushing attempts.

Wow.

You can't win in the NFL when your offense is that unbalanced, especially when the opponent's running 35 times and with success.

From an experience standpoint, NFL can't hang with college, and that includes the Texas-Arkansas game, which was very laid back and low key. Pro fans often think college loyalists are snobs, but I've got to side with the college folks on this one. Pro fans are more obnoxious in general and appear more likely to incite barroom brawls. (This theory, of course, does not pertain to Oklahoma Sooner fans.)

Overall, it was a good weekend. Two football games and a Saturday supper on the road of Chicken Express outside Round Rock. Plus, Sunday's NFL matchup was free for us thanks to my friend's business hookup.

I'm looking forward to these college games this weekend .....

- No. 1 Oklahoma at Baylor, 11:30 a.m.
- Kentucky at No. 2 Alabama, 2:30 p.m.
- Florida State at Miami, 2:30 p.m.
- No. 13 Auburn at No. 19 Vanderbilt, 5 p.m.
- No. 5 Texas at Colorado

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Thank goodness ...

Good news breaking in the "Worst Sports Headline of the Day" world ...

From ESPN.com ...

"Packers: Harris' spleen injury may not end season"

What a relief. I'm glad Al Harris' spleen ailment won't end the NFL's 2008 season. Such good news.

Wednesday's LNJ college football column

Here's the link. Knock yourselves out.

http://www.news-journal.com/sports/content/sports/stories/2008/09/24/09242008_brookscolumn.html

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Worst. Team. Promo. Ever.

I won't even try to explain. Just watch. It's ... man. Just watch.

Sept. 17 LNJ college football column

Here you go. Top five games of the best college football weekend so far this season.

http://www.news-journal.com/search/content/sports/stories/2008/09/17/09172008_brookscolumn.html

Let me know what you think.

Monday, September 15, 2008

My weekend

Friday - Traveled to Lindale to watch Pine Tree play Lindale. Pine Tree totalled all of 99 yards of offense, blew a 15-7 halftime lead, and fell 29-15.

Sent my story from the LaQuinta in Lindale right off I-20. Got back to the office and didn't hang around long because I had volunteered (for some reason) to work news side Saturday with Ike making landfall and heading northward into the glorious ArkLaTex.

Stayed up until about 2:20 a.m., wanting to see Ike make landfall before I went to bed.

Saturday - Woke up at 5:45 a.m. Checked the weather. Ike was still a good ways away, which I expected. Got back in bed about 6:15, planning to sleep another hour before getting up, preparing for work, and start a day of weather coverage, something news side always wants me for since I'm such a weather nerd.

6:25 a.m. - I realize I ain't goin' back to sleep. Nevertheless, I stay in bed for another half hour, holding out dim hopes I can pass out again before going to the office. No such luck.

At about 7 a.m., I get out of bed with a surge of adrenaline. I assume the anticipation of the day's events has my engine running already. I take a quick shower, put on a long-sleeve short that I don't button up, and a pair of shorts. I went to work in an unbuttoned shirt and shorts. That's a Longview News-Journal first. Not only that, nobody gave me crap about it. I'm such a beast.

I get some McDonald's breakfast, go to the office, make a quick call to the National Weather Service office in Shreveport. I can tell the meteorologist I talked to doesn't wanna be bothered repeatedly that day. So, I never call him back. You don't have to when you're covering weather. The NWS Shreveport forecast office Web site has everything you need if you have any clue what you're doing.

I work from 8:30 a.m. to 10:30 p.m.

Without stopping.

Fourteen hours.

Straight.

Twenty-nine Talk of East Texas blog entries.

Ike updates. SWEPCO updates. Cool weather links for the public.

To sum up the day, it was a sports writer being an absolute weather news beast for 14 hours non-stop. Right as I'm about to leave, Longview PD calls and says the water rationing was called off. It's the exclamation point to a day of beasthood. My modesty was the best part about it.

Twelve hours of overtime. Fifty-two-hour week. Big paycheck comin' next Friday. Jackpot. (Well, as big as a three-year veteran sports writer can get working for a 30K circ. shop.)

Those 60-plus-mph wind gusts were fierce. It was cool to witness, but it wasn't cool what Ike did. Driving home, I realize that much of Longview is without power. Much of Longview meaning major intersections without traffic lights, residential areas looking post-Apocalyptic. I can't imagine what Katrina looked like in New Orleans. A weakened Ike 250 miles from the coast was enough for me.

Having only gotten a combined 10 hours of sleep during the past two nights, I go to bed about 1:20 a.m. and slip into a coma.

Sunday - Get up at 10:20 a.m. for church at Mobberly Baptist. I get there and hardly any cars are in the lot. We probably have 2,000 people during the 11 o'clock service usually. Sunday, there may have been 200. It was weird. But it was good. Church is always awesome. Mobberly was home for about 140 evacuees, and it was good to see some of them going to the service so Pastor Glynn Stone could reassure them that our church was there for them. As usual, church was a blessing.

I leave church, call the folks in Carthage. They can't get food anywhere because there's only a couple of places open and there are lines going down streets trying to get in. I pick up Golden Chick and head southeast for the homeland.

Eat chicken, okra, and gravy for lunch. Does it get any better? Watch football. Act stupid with my 17-year-old brother and 54-year-old dad. Good times. Drive around and see storm damage in Carthage. Pretty bad stuff. Panola canceled classes for Monday, but CISD is having school for some reason. Oh, yeah, because it's run by incompetence, no matter who's calling the shots. I forgot there for a second.

Come back to Longview around midnight. South side is still without power. Intersections at Estes Parkway and I-20 still out, as well as HG Mosley/McCann and HG Mosley/Bill Owens. Crazy stuff.

Watch some TV. Read on the Internet. Post this.

I'm about to go to bed. It's 5:23 a.m. About my usual bed time. Tomorrow's slate: Pine Tree football practice, high school football capsules for Friday's weekly Zone tab, talks with PT and Kilgore coaches for preview stories.

Long weekend. But eventful. I'm out.

P.S. - I'll try to remember to post my weekly (Wednesday) college football columns here. By the way, SEC has five of the top 10 in the AP poll. Get on the SEC's level, y'all.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I guess I'm bad luck

The two college football games I've planned to attend so far this season have been affected by the two major hurricanes of the past few weeks.

The 4 p.m., Aug. 30 Appalachian State at LSU game was moved to 10 a.m. because of Hurricane Gustav's impending strike. I was there for the 41-13 LSU victory and the 135-degree temperature.

About 15 minutes ago, this Saturday's 2:30 p.m. Arkansas at Texas game was postponed to Sept. 27 because of Hurricane Ike, which angrily churns in the Gulf like an old man sending back soup at a deli. Our overpriced, $120 tickets should still be good in two weeks, though.

Guess I should just give up on this.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Movies ... yay

I haven't been to a movie in a while. It's too expensive and they usually suck. Well, they've gotten worse as I've gotten older, that is. I don't know if it's that I've gotten pickier or that movies just aren't as good any more. Probably a little of both.

Anyway, two movies I'm looking forward to come out Friday: "Burn After Reading" and "Righteous Kill."

"Burn After Reading" is Coen Brothers, which means it's guaranteed to be greatness. My two favorite movies of all-time are both Coen Brothers movies - (1)"O Brother Where Art Thou," and (2) "The Big Lebowski." There are plenty other great Coen classics, too: "Fargo," "No Country for Old Men," "Raising Arizona," "Ladykillers."

"Righteous Kill" is a cop movie with DeNiro and Pacino. I've never been a huge fan of either, but if I had to pick one, I guess I'm a Pacino guy. Pacino was the only reason why "Scarface" was watchable, and he's great in "Serpico." Don't get me wrong, they're both great actors; it's just that liking them is such a big cliche that I've never really adored either one.

So, Sunday evening may involve a trip to Carmike 10, a large bag of popcorn, and a large Coke.

That's all I got.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

The Barbarian gets hurt, but The Cat looks awesome

Dallas Cowboys RB Marion Barber was his usual beast self in Sunday's season-opening, 28-10 win over Cleveland. Sixteen totes, 80 yards, two touchdowns. All in a day's work, right?

Well, The Barbarian sustained some bruised ribs, and anybody who has ever suffered from that knows it is indeed suffering. You don't have to break a rib to hurt. Bruised ribs are no picnic.

However, when Barber went out, Felix Jones showed quite a bit. Don't get me wrong, he's got some room to improve and isn't close to being Barber-esque, but he hits the hole faster and switches gears quicker. He came close to breaking a long touchdown run twice. It looks like The Cat's preseason performances were not flukes.

Even third-string back Tashard Choice came in and got some snaps. He didn't look all that bad, either. Choice, a rookie like Jones, started his collegiate career at Oklahoma before transferring to Georgia Tech and being the Yellowjackets' only real offensive threat last season after Calvin Johnson's departure.

So, fear not, Cowboys fans. It appears Barber's injury is not near the level of The Golden Boy Tom Brady's knee ailment, which could end up keeping The Precious One out for the season. If Barber's injury lingers, it appears Jones and Choice wouldn't be too much of a step back. I know it's only one game, but a first-round pick who averages seven yards per carry on his first nine NFL carries should be able to sustain solid performances in lieu of the starter's injury.

In other words, fear The Cat.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Gustav fatigue

I'm sick of hearing ...

- "overtopped" --- this isn't even a word.
- "LAH-FIE-ETTE" --- that's not a city in South Central Louisiana. That's Laffy-ette.
- "KOH-kuh-dree" --- that's not where Gustav made landfall. It's Kuh-KOH-DREE, spelled Cocodrie.
- "St. Bernard's Parish" --- St. Bernard Parish. Bernie don't own the thing.
- "St. Mary's Parish" --- St Mary Parish. See above.

I'm sure I'll have more, so stay tuned.

Politics are stupid

This whole Sarah Palin thing is ridiculous.

It's ridiculous that people are making an issue out of her 17-year-old daughter's pregnancy. It's not a reflection of bad parenting. It's not a reflection of the McCain campaign. It's not a reflection of this girl being an awful person.

It's ridiculous that Republicans are telling everybody that it's a private matter and that nobody should talk about it. That wasn't the case with Bill Clinton. I guess that's only the case when the matter happens to be inconvenient for the GOP, which shoves superficial, self-righteous, hollow moral-values rhetoric down the throats of anyone who does not agree with them.

It's ridiculous that people would question Palin's judgement concerning her own recent pregnancy, which produced a baby with Down's Syndrome. No, it's not the best idea to be pregnant in your 40s, but if she got pregnant, she got pregnant. Big deal. At least the child appears it will be taken care of in a good family.

It's ridiculous that John McCain picked her to be his running mate. She hasn't been the governor of Alaska for even two years. She doesn't have any foreign policy experience. She's pretty. Maybe that's why McCain picked her.

It seems McCain made a mistake in the total opposite direction that Barack Obama made. Obama, whose campaign is based on his overwhelming "change" language, selected one of the most well-known, hard-line, partisan-politics Democrats in Joe Biden as his running mate.

Perhaps in an attempt to steal Hillary Clinton supporters, I guess McCain looked at the an alphabetized list of states and picked the first significant female figure he came across.

It's all ridiculous.

Watching Gustav

I wanted to write about my experience at Tiger Stadium on Saturday where I witnessed the Fightin' Tigers dispatch Appalachian State 41-13 before a relatively healthy crowd considering the 10 a.m. kickoff and the existence of a Category 4 hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico.


However, the events of the coming days make football, as glorious and important as it is to our Southern culture, trivial. Although it was reduced to Cat 3 on the Saffir-Simpson Scale before being dropped to Cat 2 with 110 mph sustained winds just prior to landfall, Gustav means business.


All I could think about Sunday was Katrina. Her winds were 125 mph. Katrina's storm surge was unreal, reaching 30 feet in some areas along the Mississippi Coast. Gustav has proven so far that he's certainly not Katrina, but nevertheless, a hurricane's a hurricane, especially when it's hitting an area that includes parts below sea level.

My affinity for keeping up with weather along with what's maybe a morbid curiosity keep me glued to coverage every time a storm approaches. The biggest worries right now are the levees holding up and flood waters surging into the Orleans and Jefferson Parishes canals, which would put those levees under further duress.

For now, all I can do is keep watching and praying that my friends in Baton Rouge are safe. The northern eye wall of Gustav is approaching Baton Rouge right now, according to the folks on CNN. So hang tight, Jake and Becca. Since I doubt y'all will have power, I'll pull for Tennessee tonight against UCLA for the sake of all SEC fans.

Monday, August 25, 2008

"Click It Up"

Check the Longview News-Journal Web site Wednesday for my 2008 college football predictions column.

I know you'll all be riveted by the picks. Read and respond.

And do the same with this blog, if you don't mind.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Don't mess with this guy ...





Texas defensive end Brian Orakpo is a grown man. ESPN.com's Bruce Feldman ranked the nation's top 10 workout warriors in a recent Web article. Here's the link:

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/columns/story?id=3420212

Orakpo's No. 1 on Feldman's list. Orakpo arrived at Texas at 210 pounds. He's now a 253-pound beast with 8 percent body fat and a 4.6 time in the 40.

But get this ... he benches 515, power cleans 380, lifts 100-pound kettlebells and 180-pound dumbbells ... and has a 42-inch vertical.

That's simply not fair for somebody that big and strong to run a 4.6 and have a 42-inch vertical.

It's official: 2008 Preseason Top 10

I sat here for a while trying to rank the top 25 college football teams in the United States of America entering the 2008 season.

Well, after about 10 or 12, I realized it a pointless venture. To me, it looks like the 2008 season could be a top-heavy one; meaning, the top 10 or 12 teams in the country may indeed be legit, but beyond that ... let's just say there's much to be desired.

I'd like to point out beforehand --- if that's a word --- that my preseason Top 10 shan't reflect my national championship pick. That's coming, football fans. Don't you worry. Instead, this poll ranks the best teams in the country based on the 22 players who will take the field on offense and defense during the opening weekend of the season. In other words, my national champion pick, which should be revealed during the coming days and is different from my premature pick published in Dave Campbell's Texas Football magazine, will be based on more than just talent: schedule, possible 13th game because of conference championship games, existing injuries entering the season, etc.

Without further adieu, here's Gabriel D. Brooks's 2008 Preseason Top 10:

1.Georgia
- The Bulldogs will feature one of the best backfields in the nation with junior QB Matthew Stafford and sophomore running back Knowshon Moreno, who both have the possibility of being Heisman Trophy candidates. Mohamed Massaquoi should be Stafford's top target. The biggest hurdle on offense will be overcoming left tackle Trinton Sturdivant's season-ending knee injury. After all, somebody's gotta protect Stafford's blind side.
Geno Atkins and Jeff Owens will give the Dawgs a strong duo on the interior of the defensive line, and LB Dannell Ellerbe and S C.J. Byrd are veterans in the defense's second and third levels.

2.USC
- They're back again. The best coach in the country loses his starting quarterback (John David Booty) and two NFL-caliber defensive linemen (Sedrick Ellis and Lawrence Jackson). So what does Pete Carroll do?
Reload.
Mark Sanchez should get the first crack at replacing Booty, and Arkansas transfer Mitch Mustain is waiting in the wings if Sanchez is unsuccessful. Doubt that, though. Joe McKnight is set to become Reggie Bush No. 2, while Vidal Hazelton and Patrick Turner are poised to live up to the hype they created as top-flight recruits.
USC's defense will be even better despite losing Ellis and Jackson. Rey Maualuga and Brian Cushing anchor the D from their linebacker spots, and Taylor Mays, a 6-3, 226-pound safety, is cut from the same cloth as late, great former Hurricane safety Sean Taylor.

3.Florida
- I present to you the most explosive offense in the United States of America. Yes, even after losing senior tight end Cornelius Ingram for the season with a torn ACL.
Tim Tebow is the Heisman frontrunner after winning it last year, and if Percy Harvin can get back to 100 percent from his offseason heel surgery, look out. Harvin is the single-most dynamic playmaker in the country.
The question for this team is defense. A very green unit last season was exposed against LSU late, Georgia throughout, and shamefully against Michigan. Add to that starting safety Dorian Munroe's season-ending knee injury in fall camp, and Florida must get more production from a front four that lost first-round pick Derrick Harvey. Gator ends Jermaine Cunningham and Carlos Dunlap could be special, and linebackers Brandon Spikes and Dustin Doe are established stalwarts. The front seven must be solid to take pressure off the defensive backs.

4.Oklahoma
- The Sooners should be at least as explosive offensively as they were last year, when redshirt freshman QB Sam Bradford set all kinds of school records. Receiver Malcolm Kelly and RB Allen Patrick are gone, but wideout Juaquin Iglesia, TE Jermaine Gresham, and RB DeMarco Murry probably have more big-play potential. Throw in what may be the best offensive line in the nation with guard Duke Robinson and tackle Phil Loadholt, and the Sooners should short-circuit scoreboards.
Defensively, Oklahoma has a top-three defensive line with end Auston English and tackles Gerald McCoy and DeMarcus Granger. Former LB Curtis Lofton's leadership must be replaced, and Reggie Smith's play in the secondary and special teams will be missed.

5.Ohio State
- Everyone's sick of seeing the Buckeyes, but they've got a lot of starters back from a team that played in the national championship game for the second straight year.
Todd Boeckman's back at QB. Yes, he survived the mid-air decapitation courtesy former LSU linebacker Ali Highsmith in January's BCS National Championship. Chris "Beanie" Wells may be the best all-around back in the country and will be a legitimate Heisman contender. Boeckman's top receivers, Brian Robiskie and Brian Hartline, are back, although neither showed the ability to make a down-field play against LSU's athletic secondary.
The nation's top linebacker returns in James Laurinaitis. Vernon Gholston's pass-rushing presence will be missed, but Ohio State is always strong up front. Marcus Freeman joins Laurinaitis at LB, and Malcolm Jenkins returns at CB for his senior and will lead a solid secondary. This team should march through the Big 10 again.

6.Missouri
- Gone are RB Tony Temple and TE Martin Rucker. So what? The Tigers have Heisman finalist QB Chase Daniel, all-purpose player Jeremy Maclin, and TE Chase Coffman back to lead one of the country's best offenses. Nothing to worry about on offense.
As for defense, a lot of people underrate Mizzou. LB Sean Weatherspoon and S William Moore give the Tigers a veteran presence. But for Missouri to make a run at another BCS bowl game, the Tigers must become more consistent defensively, specifically acquiring the ability to win games with their defense if their offense sputters here or there.

7.West Virginia
- Dual-threat QB Pat White returns to guide the Mountaineer offense for the third straight season. White is the absolute definition of dual-threat QB, too. Being left-handed throws another dimension into his game that defenses must account for.
Steve Slaton and Owen Schmitt are gone from WVa's backfield, but diminutive and deceptive tailback Noel Devine is right there to take over. Devine will be a household name by the end of 2008. Just wait. He's as game-changingly dynamic as any back in the country, nevermind the fact that he's 5-8 and about 175. If you thought Slaton was awesome in the spread option, just get ready for Devine.
The Mountaineers will need him to be, too. They're under new head coach Bill Stewart after Rich Rodriguez's departure for Michigan, and we all know how questionable the WVa defense can be.

8.Auburn
- Tommy Tuberville, the nation's most underrated head coach, is getting more and more talent to work with each year. The Tigers will have Brad Lester, Ben Tate, and Mario Fannin to choose from at tailback, while Chris Todd and Kodi Burns will share time at quarterback in new offensive coordinator Tony Franklin's tempo-emphasizing spread. This should be a fun offense to watch, something Auburn is rarely accused of.
On defense, Auburn will be Auburn. Strong. Even though losing Quentin Groves to the pros hurts, the bigger loss is Texas buying defensive coordinator Will Muschamp's services. Nevertheless, Antonio Coleman and Sen'Derrick Marks are playmakers on the front line. Marks is moving inside from his old end spot and should wreak havoc. He's a first-round pick waiting to happen. LB Tray Blackmon appears to have put his injury woes behind him, and he'll be one of the best in the SEC. The only question for Auburn defensively is depth in the secondary. DB Airon Savage tore up a knee in fall camp, and he was going to be relied upon for some leadership.

9.LSU
- If Ryan Perrilloux was still on this team, the Bayou Bengals would be sitting in the top four and poised for a run at back-to-back national titles. Alas, the titanic bust of a quarterback recruit couldn't stay out of trouble, and he'll be playing his ball for powerhouse Jacksonville State this year. So LSU is left with a Harvard JV transfer (Andrew Hatch), a redshirt freshman (Jarrett Lee), and a true freshman (Jordan Jefferson) to choose from at quarterback.
Whoever wins the QB job will have plenty of talent around him, despite the losses of Jacob Hester and Early Doucet. The tailback position is loaded: Charles Scott, Richard Murphy, Keiland Williams, and Trindon Holliday. Brandon LaFell, Demetrius Byrd, and Terrance Tolliver are back at wideout, and Richard Dickson's just entering his junior season as the Tigers' tight end. LSU may also have the best offensive line in the SEC.
What LSU certainly has is the best defensive line in the SEC, and probably the country. Tyson Jackson and Kirston Pittman are back at the ends, while the departure of the most decorated defensive player in the history of LSU's program --- Glenn Dorsey --- has opened up a fierce competition for time at DT among Ricky Jean-Francois, Marlon Favorite, Charles Alexander, Al Woods, and Drake Nevis. LB Darry Beckwith and safeties Curtis Taylor, Chad Jones, and Harry Coleman are back, but not having S Craig Steltz and CBs Chevis Jackson and Jonathon Zenon will give the Tigers some early growing pains in the secondary.

10.Texas
- I feel there's a significant drop from ninth to 10th. I labored over who to put at No. 10, and had Virginia Tech there until the last minute.
Texas's wealth of talent gives it the nod over the Hokies for the 10th spot. QB Colt McCoy must shake his 18-interception sophomore performance and return to his freshman form. Personally, I think he should run less. If Texas wants to run, it should give the ball to John Chiles more in the shotgun.
Foswhitt Whitaker, Vondrell McGee, and Chris Ogbannaya are battling for the starting tailback spot. From everything I've read, such as ESPN.com's Tim Griffin's Big 12 blog, Whitaker's the home-run hitter, McGee's the bruiser, and Ogbannaya's the experienced pass-catcher. I think Whitaker and McGee, a former Longview Lobo star, have better chances than Ogbannaya, although he could easily find himself in the game on every third down.
Quan Cosby and Jordan Shipley give Texas experienced, sure-handed wideouts, but they're not big playmakers. Texas doesn't have a David Thomas at TE this year, either.
The Longhorns' biggest improvement will come on defense, where Will Muschamp, the nation's best D-coordinator, takes over. Brian Orakpo should have a monster season at end, and former Kilgore star Eddie Jones will get a shot opposite him. The linebackers should be strong with Sergio Kindle, Rashad Bobino, and former Hallsville star Roddrick Muckleroy. The secondary must improve on its 100-plus national ranking from a year ago.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Sign of the times ...

When aspiring young journalists attended the University of North Texas's Journalism School from 2003 through 2005, professors cynically, yet playfully warned them to all major in something else and follow another career path.

Three years after the exact day I graduated cum laude with a bachelor of arts degree in News Writing: Editorial, the paper I've worked for for the first three years of my burgeoning sports journalism career is put put on the market by the corporate mothership, Cox Enterprises.

Wednesday, August 13, 2005 was the day Cox announced it was selling ...

- Austin American Statesman
- Austin community newspapers
- Waco Tribune Herald
- Longview News-Journal (my shop)
- Lufkin Daily News
- Nacogdoches Daily Sentinel
- Marshall News Messenger
- Three North Carolina community newspapers, and
- Grand Junction (Colo.) Daily Sentinel

Cox Enterprises retains the mothership, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, as well as the Palm Beach Post, Dayton Daily News, and a few surrounding Dayton community papers.

The AJC's hemorrhaging money. It and the PBP have made drastic employee buyouts/cuts. Metro newspapers are failing. The increase in online advertising revenue isn't enough to make up for the precipitous fall in print ad revenue. A real-life "Office Space" is occurring across the United States.

What does this mean for me?

Well, Cox is trying to sell us, along with Marshall, Nac, Lufkin, and Waco, as a package to a potential buyer. Problem is there's no potential buyer yet. Or maybe that's a good thing. The chances of being sold by a good media company, then being bought by another good media company in this day and age is highly unlikely. Of course, the companies in decent shape are theoretically the only ones who could afford to buy newspapers right now.

My only concerns are ...

- No longer being in the chain with Austin, one of my ultimate destination papers
- The possibility of being bought by a company such as Community Newspaper Holdings, Inc.
- Losing the solid benefits package Cox gives its employees
- Having that solid benefits package replaced by something significantly worse, a very possible outcome

To be clear, I'm not worried. After all, The Bible says "Let tomorrow worry about itself." The past month has been a time of immense spiritual growth for me, and I know more than ever that I'm blessed to have anything and everything that I have. I know God's taking care of me no matter, so I'm not at all stressed about this.

To give myself options, though, I have to think about, not stress about, the possibilities. Maybe this, combined with being the runner-up for a job I really wanted two months ago, is a sign from The Good Lord that my future may wind up quite different than I've thought it would for quite some time now? Not that I reject that concept; I want to follow The Lord's will, and the possibility of finding something new even sounds kinda fun.

So I have to ask myself: How long do I want to stay in this field? Do I want to just ride this out and see what happens? Or should I start peppering the Southern United States with my resume, hoping to catch on somewhere else before something really bad - that may or may not happen - happens in Longview? Do I go back to school, get a master's in history or journalism and start aiming to teach in college?

Or do I just go get my teaching certificate and start my high school basketball/football coaching career? A close friend of mine just did this ... am I next?

Monday, August 11, 2008

SEC injuries piling up

Florida's Cornelius Ingram. Georgia's Trinton Sturdivant. Ole Miss' Greg Hardy.

The studs are falling right and left. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution's Chip Towers reported Monday night that Georgia coach Mark Richt ain't too fired up about Sturdivant's status.

http://www.ajc.com/sports/content/sports/uga/stories/2008/08/11/georgia_lineman_injury.html

This would be a huge blow for Georgia. Already facing what is probably the nation's top schedule, the last thing Georgia needs is to lose its starting left tackle and personal protector of QB Matt Stafford.

The injuries to Ingram and Sturdivant are bad, but Hardy missing six to eight weeks is equally as bad. Hardy is the most talented defensive player on the Rebels' roster, and first-year coach Houston Nutt can ill afford to lose any defensive playmakers when breaking in an entirely new backfield in QB Jevan Snead and RB Enrique Davis.

http://www.olemisssports.com/ViewArticle.dbml?&ATCLID=1552836&DB_OEM_ID=2600

Big ups to ESPN.com's Chris Low. His SEC blog is my No. 1 Internet destination each day. If you want to bask in its glory, check it out here.

http://myespn.go.com/blogs/sec?lpos=spotlight&lid=tab2pos1

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Three Questions

Football season, ladies and gentlemen, is here.

I know I just finished posting my final New Orleans blog, something I dragged out longer than I anticipated, but I've got to get some football action on this bad boy.

So, perhaps periodically I'll present a trio of football queries pertinent to the current atmosphere of collegiate football. Maybe I'll come up with a catchier name than just "three questions."

1.Who will be the SEC's most dominant defensive lineman?

Gone is LSU's Glenn Dorsey, the most decorated defensive player in the history of the Tiger program. Gone is Auburn's Quentin Groves, a fierce edge rusher who may be a hybrid linebacker this year in the NFL.
Fear not. The country's fastest, deepest, and most talented conference will have plenty of able-bodied defensive linemen in 2008. Here's who to look out for this season ...
Sen'Derrick Marks, DT, Auburn - Moving to the edge from defensive tackle, Marks should have Auburn fans screaming War Eagle as often as Groves did last season. Marks has first-round pick written all over him. ESPN NFL Draft guru Mel Kiper Jr. believes Marks could be a top-five pick in next April's draft.
Greg Hardy, DE, Ole Miss - 63 tackles and 10 sacks made him a Walter Camp second-team all-America pick last season. Hardy, who will be just a junior, will lead a strong Rebel front seven that includes DT Peria Jerry.
Demonte' Bolden, DT, Tennessee - Following in a long line of Volunteer defensive lineman, Bolden joins LB Rico McCoy and S Eric Berry as Phil Fulmer's top defensive playmakers.
Ricky Jean-Francois, DT, and Tyson Jackson, DE, LSU - Lose Glenn Dorsey? As Friday's Rivals.com story points out, if anybody in the nation can afford to lose a Dorsey, it's LSU, which is primed to insert its next wave of stud defensive linemen into the limelight. LSU could have the nation's best defensive line - again. Jean-Francois played only two games, but earned BCS title Defensive Player of the Game in the process. Jackson only had 3.5 sacks last season, but had 8.5 as a sophomore. With a strong senior season, he could be a first-round pick. Add Kirston Pittman, Al Woods, Charles Alexander, Drake Nevis, and Marlon Favorite to this duo, and they're just a few more reasons LSU is Defensive Lineman U.
(Jean-Francois)


Jermaine Cunningham, DE, Florida - You're looking at the leader of what should be an improved and more experienced Gator front in 2008. A year after having the nation's best defensive line and winning the national title, last year was a work-in-progress for Florida, but Cunningham should follow up his 64-tackle, 6.5-sack sophomore campaign with another impressive year.
(Cunningham)



2.Which new coach on the Brazos will have the more immediate impact?
Mike Sherman takes over at Texas A&M. Art Briles is running the show at Baylor. Sherman has more to work with, but Briles has more ground to make up on the competition. Briles' shotgun-based offense is not too different from the pass-happy attack Guy Morriss had employed in Waco, but as ESPN.com's Tim Griffin wrote Thursday in his Big 12 blog, expect the Bears to run the ball more under Briles.
Texas A&M, on the other hand, will pass more. Griffin's play analysis revealed that, among Big 12 teams in 2007, only Oklahoma State ran the ball as much as Texas A&M (60.5 percent of its plays). Sherman's pro experience will usher in a balanced, pro-style offense with Stephen McGee running less, Mike Goodson running more, and McGee working almost exclusively under center.
All that said, since Briles has more work to do, and because he's more familiar with the recent world of college football, Briles will have a more immediate impact.

3.How will Cornelius Ingram's season-ending knee injury affect Florida?

News of Ingram's torn anterior cruciate ligament spread quickly across the college football InterWeb late Thursday. I read about it in ESPN.com's Chris Low's SEC blog, which is another excellent example of ESPN finally doing something right journalistically by hiring experienced newspaper writers to head their Blog Network college football coverage.
Ingram caught more than 500 yards worth of passes last year, including seven touchdowns. As Low emphasized, Ingram was money on third downs. He's the perfect safety valve for a quarterback.
(Ingram, #7)


Without him, I believe Florida's offense will be greatly hampered, enough to probably cost them a couple of spots in my preseason Top 25. Not only will Heisman Trophy winner Tim Tebow not have Ingram to bail him out at times, but more production will be needed from already-injured star Percy Harvin, Florida's version of Reggie Bush. Harvin's recovering form offseason heel surgery, but, again, as Low pointed out, isn't progressing as the Gators had hoped. A player who uses speed and agility as much as Harvin can't afford to not play at 100 percent.
In summary, losing Ingram robs Florida of a huge offensive dimension. It will prove costly at some point.

I Heart NOLa, Part III: People

As I sit here in my apartment at 3 a.m., almost four weeks removed from my New Orleans sojourn, I still can't get the human experiences out of my head.

New Orleans has always had the reputation of being an eccentric, often dangerous city. The eccentricity is a huge part of its charm. Dangerous? It can be if you don't know what you're doing down there, but for the most part you need not worry about that.

The locals are amazing. They were nice before Hurricane Katrina. They are still nice after.

They want you to know that they appreciate you being there, they appreciate you trying to rebuild the city's economy while they rebuild the city's heart and soul every day.


Even the street hustlers who approach you not knowing you're hip to their scams. Right outside the hotel, I stood back and watched as a collar-popped, backward-Hurley-cap-wearing cool guy let a hustler "shine his shoes" - he asks where you got the shoes, then bends down, applies a watery soap substance, rubs it off, then says, "You got them on (insert the name of the street) in New Orleans, Louisiana. Now give me $20 for the shine."

I laughed as the cool guy fell for it. What is he going to do? Tell this total stranger, who happens to be a street hustler, "No, I'm not giving you any money".... seriously?

I doubt it.

Then the hustler approached me. Before he could finish his opening pitch, I interjected, "Naw, man. You ain't getting me." I smiled and laughed as I said it, and he respectfully acknowledged my street wisdom with a an "All right," a laugh, and a smile.

That may seem simple, but it's little interactions like that I love about New Orleans. Another local working at a hotel on Decatur Street randomly asked me where I was from as I walked by him. We exchanged pleasantries as I told him I make it to New Orleans every year. You could tell he was proud of his hometown and glad to see other people enjoying it.

A local working outside the Oceana Grill helped me decide what to eat, coming back inside to check on me and see if I like his suggestion.

There are so many small moments and human encounters like that that make the trip each year that much more enjoyable. Everyone you meet is cordial and inviting.

The interaction I had that set itself apart from all others was the waitress at the CoCo Club.

I'm not the kind of guy to just strike up conversations with random girls, especially those who are (A) working, and (B) very attractive. I figured, hey, I'm in New Orleans, what's it matter?

I'm thankful I took the chance to get to know her a little. It's proof to somebody like me that you can meet amazing people, particularly of the opposite sex, in the last places you'd imagine meeting them. I found out where she was from, where she went to college, and what she was doing in New Orleans, discovering we had things in common and genuinely enjoyed each other's company.

What really did it for me was that she had move to New Orleans only two months earlier. I asked her why. She said when she was young she visited New Orleans many times and always told herself she would live there. The time came two months ago that she just decided to move to New Orleans, fulfilling her long-ago promise to herself.

That impresses me still. There are so many times when I wish I had the strength, or carefree attitude, or whatever it is to just make a decision like that and live with it. That made me really respect her and increased my affinity for her even more.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to have a proper goodbye, and chances are I'll never see her again. But I know I won't forget that human encounter; it's just another example of the blessings I receive every time I visit New Orleans, a city full of wonderful people.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

I Heart NOLa, Part II: Music

I know.

It's been almost two weeks since I've posted. I apologize. Not that I want to make excuses, but I've been completely swamped at work with a huge centerpiece story that I really did not enjoy assembling/writing/executing.

Anyway, it's been two weeks since my return from New Orleans. I still miss it badly.

The complexities I detailed concerning NOLa's food transcend its music as well. You can find good music anywhere in New Orleans. When I say anywhere, I mean anywhere.

Walk down Canal and into the Quarter you'll find talented street musicians playing brass instruments, guitars, drums, and myriad other devices, waiting for passers-by to drop a bill or two in their box. The kids who secure the metal tap-dancing contraptions to their tennis shoes do the same. I saw plenty of them on Decatur Street during my stay.

There are few groups you'll find that congregate at a particular area several days or nights in a row. I saw one group set up on the steps of the mini-amphitheater across the street from and facing Jackson Square. Trombones, trumpets, tubas, sometimes drums, always a few locals gyrating in front of the band to draw attention to themselves.

The best street band I hear has at least a dozen guys and always sets up on the corner of Bourbon and Canal along the big Foot Locker mural. They're incredible. Don't get the wrong idea: No sheet music, no singer, just a bunch of guys playing their horns by ear for whoever's walking by.

Like this ...



Yes, that's the same Foot Locker I'm talking about. And yes, that's the Foot Locker you saw on TV during Katrina aftermath that was being mercilessly looted.

As far as local establishments go, I desperately want to go to Vaughn's. Kermit Ruffins is the house performer. Most Thursday nights he serves up New Orleans jazz funk and free barbecue in the Bywater district establishment. I've never been, but I've seen Ruffins perform on TV and heard some of his music. The guy wails on the trumpet. He's unreal.

The place I always go while on Bourbon Street is Maison Bourbon, which has a sign haning out front that states "Dedicated to the Preserveration of Jazz." Jamil Sharif, a ridiculous trumpeteer, is the main attraction Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, and stopping off to listen to him and house band is well worth it, especially when the humidity's running about 75 percent at 10 p.m.

My new discovery this go-around was the CoCo Club, a relatively new night spot on Bourbon Street. I hanged out at the CoCo three nights in a row, listening to Bryan Lee on Thursday and Friday nights and Marva Wright on Saturday night. Both have been signed on as house performers at the CoCo.

Lee is a blind blues man whose influences include Elmore James, Albert King, B.B. King, and Freddie King, blues legends. James wrote "The Sky is Crying," one of the best blues songs ever. Stevie Ray Vaughan does an awesome rendition of the song, too.

Lee was unbelievable. Being able to watch a blues guitarist as talented as Lee from a few feet away was something I'll never forget.

Wright is called "The Queen of New Orleans Blues." I normally don't hang around for female blues performers, but she far exceeded my expectations.

I met some great people at the CoCo Club, including the DJ, one of the bartenders, and a waitress.

A waitress that became my most memorable encounter of the entire trip.

But that story comes in Part III: People.

In the meantime, enjoy some Bryan Lee. The video's low quality, but you'll get the idea.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I Heart NOLa, Part I: Food

Our 10:30 a.m. departure from Longview, Texas, was planned so we could hold out on food until we reached The Best Stop Supermarket just outside of Lafayette in Scott, Louisiana.

It was worth the wait.

A little over three hours into the New Orleans trip, a trek we anticipated would yield heavenly culinary experiences, we hit the jackpot at Best Stop. According to its Web site, Best Stop's boudin and cracklins have been voted No. 1 six consecutive years by The Times of Acadiana's reader poll. Best Stop sells approximately 2,000 pounds of boudin every day.

For those of you out of the loop, boudin can come in boudin noir (blood sausage) or boudin blanc (the regular, white kind). The version we bought two pounds of was boudin blanc, which consists of pork, pork liver, chicken, and rice.

By the way, it's cooked inside a pig intestine.

And it's good. Really good.

But not as good as the cracklins.

I could eat cracklins until my heart exploded. Best Stop's cracklins were otherwordly. We each ate a pound of boudin, then I ate most of the half-pound bag of cracklins. I love anything that comes from a pig. After all, the French were on to something lo those many years ago when they opted to base their cuisine around Good Ol' Porky.

There's nothing like cracklins, the crisp residue left by the rendering of hog lard. The definition even sounds glorious.

The only thing we regretted about the boudin and cracklins were the belches that began about 15 minutes after starting the feast. The guzzling of Coke didn't help.

For more on Best Stop, check it: http://www.thebeststopsupermarket.com/.

About three hours later, we arrived in New Orleans. First stop: Acme Oyster House.

Unfortunately, the boudin and cracklins were still with me, so I just ordered my usual, the Peacemaker Po-Boy - fried shrimp and fried oysters on French bread - and left it at that. It never disappoints, and it didn't this time, either. A couple of years back, Maxim Magazine named the Acme Peacemaker as the No. 4 sandwich in the country, a well-deserved honor.

Here's Acme's Web site, a fun, informative, and full-sensory experience in itself: http://www.acmeoyster.com/.

That was pretty much the extent of eating the first day. The boudin sat heavy. I wanted more cracklins. I savored the Peacemaker.

Day 2 rolled around, and after we checked out of our free room at La Quinta on Camp Street, we found a place to park near the old Jax Brewery along the riverfront and walked up Decatur to Central Grocery for what is supposed to be New Orleans' best muffaletta.

I had always been told to eat a muffuletta in previous trips to New Orleans, but never had, so I decided to go to the source, Central Grocery, for my first muffuletta experience.

It didn't disappoint.

I ordered half a sandwich and a bottle of Barq's, another local favorite, and dined inside Central Grocery, an outlet for Italian, Greek, and Creole sustenance since 1906. The muffuletta is somewhat of an acquired delight: It's loaded with olives and an olive oil-loaded olive salad that soaks into the thick sesame-seed muffuletta loaf. Throw in some provolone and assorted Italian deli meats, and you've got a genuine, Central Grocery muffuletta.

Talk about strong. I could only eat a quarter of the sandwich. The olive salad sat heavier in my gut than the boudin and cracklins, but that's probably because my internal organs are far more accustomed to dealing with pork fat than olive salad.

Verdict: pretty dang good. I prefer the Peacemaker, of course, but the Central Grocery muffuletta is a must during a trip to New Orleans. To learn more about the sandwich and the store, check these wikipedia references: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muffuletta, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_Grocery.

A trip to the new Southern Food and Beverage Museum, which is located at the south end of the Riverfront Marketplace mall, was informative and reflective. It was fun seeing exhibits on food items I've known since I was but a small, chubby, Southern hobbit, but also little-known facts about how some of those familiar foodstuffs came about in the rural Deep South.

After the educational stop, muffuletta was still sitting like a 12-pound ball inside my stomach. So instead of walking back to the original Cafe Du Monde location, I did the lazy thing and stopped at the mall location - indoors, not 92 degrees with 70 percent humidity, and plenty of comely ladies walking by as they shop.

For anyone who has never experienced the glory of a beignet, you have no clue what you're missing.

The beignet, or French doughnut, is the epitome of Southern and French food decadence (though they're politics in the modern-day world may greatly differ, the American South and France share an healthy obsession with great food. In fact, if you're a foodie in the United State, thank the Good Lord for the French and everything they've contributed to international cuisine).

Beignets are like high-quality funnel cake batter in a sopapilla shape, only solid ... and covered in powdered sugar. And when I say covered, I really mean it. When you finish an order of beignets (three), the pile of powdered sugar remaining is so disturbingly grand it appears that Tony Montana has sneezed all over your table.

For the record, I went to Cafe Du Monde's original location - across from Jackson Square, facing Decatur, the same place it's been since 1862 - three times after the mall trip during the remainder of my stay in New Orleans. Cafe Du Monde is as unique an experience as you'll find anyone.

Check the site for more info: http://www.cafedumonde.com/.

Since my first exposure to Cafe Du Monde, the romantic in me has always hoped that some day my courtship of a God-fearing, intelligent, funny, and pretty young lady would involve taking her to Cafe Du Monde and indulging in beignets and cafe au lait on a summer afternoon while watching the mule-drawn carriages haul people down Decatur in front of the wrought-iron boundaries of Jackson Square with the immaculate St. Louis Cathedral creating a memorable backdrop.

But I digress.

That evening, the Crescent City Brewhouse (http://www.crescentcitybrewhouse.com/index.html) provided supper. A baked oyster sampler was excellent, and the house pilsner was a pretty good complement. Crabmeat-stuffed shrimp was presented very well, and tasted just as good. The only drawback was the price for the amount of food you get, but I'm willing to pay decent dollar for good food in New Orleans, even if it is a little skimpy on the servings. Most places in New Orleans give you so much food you eat yourself into a coma.

Friday was the big day: reservation at New Orleans landmark, Commander's Palace, one of the most recognizable restaurants in the landscape of North American cuisine.

Previous executive chefs include Louisiana legend Paul Prudhomme and the current definition of celebrity chef, Emeril Lagasse. Reserving a table for lunch is the thing to do if you want to avoid a bill well over the century mark. Plus, jackets aren't required at lunch (they aren't technically required for supper, but they're "requested").

The cab fare from the hotel at the corner of Bourbon and Canal was just under $11, so reasonable. I knew if I was eating at Commander's Palace - a huge, old house on Washington Avenue just off the St. Charles streetcar line in New Orleans' Garden District - I had to try the trademark appetizer: Turtle soup.

It was unlike anything I'd eaten before. It was thick, but not quite a stew, with small chunks of turtle meat suspended in the dark, almost rouxy concoction. It was great, and it was quite filling for an appetizer soup. Its richness was exacted by the shot of sherry the waitress tossed in table-side.

My main course was gulf seafood cakes. I've had my fair share of crabcakes/seafood cakes at other restaurants, such as the crabcakes from Copeland's I love so dearly. The breading in your usual seafood cake is a key component.

That's what separated these from all else. There was no breading.

Lump crabmeat, shrimp, and couple of other seafood delights were molded into a puck-shaped cake that was so tender, moist, and seafood meaty, I can honestly say I've never eaten anything prepared so exquisitely. The cakes sat atop a bed of baby spinach with two probably-complicated sauces drizzled over the greens. A pineapple salsa accompanied the cakes and accented the sweet seafood perfectly.

For dessert, I selected the dish suggested to all patrons by executive chef Tory McPhail: Creole bread pudding souffle, which is topped table-side with a bourbon-based creme sauce. I'm not a dessert guy at all, but it was simply superb. White and purple raisins were embedded deep within the souffle and were so tender and un-raisin-like I could hardly believe they were raisins. It was rich, but not overpowering.

Overall, I can say I've never experienced dining like Commander's Palace. I dislike dress codes and stuffy, upper-crust schools of thought. I have strongly adverse feeling for all things upper class, such as country clubs.

But I can't emphasize enough how incredible Commander's Palace is. And the wait staff is unreal. You'll have to dole out a bigger tip, but that's because you've got half a dozen people taking care of you: Different person for water and tea, different person for menus and entree presentation, different person for appetizer and dessert presentation, different person for taking plates and utensils away. You're treated like royalty.

Simply put, if you visit New Orleans, you must go to Commander's Palace. Here's the link for easily the greatest restaurant I've ever experienced: http://www.commanderspalace.com/.

Hopefully Commander's Palace will be where I take that lady on the evening after our afternoon bliss at Cafe Du Monde.

After Commander's Palace, I really didn't expect much else out of the trip from a food standpoint. We're talking New Orleans, too.

After waiting a good while to recover from the Commander's Palace extravaganza, Coop's Place was the night-time destination for supper. Nestled in along the seemingly endless strip of Decatur Street, an absolute gem of a thoroughfare often overlooked by outsiders, Coop's Place was a dark, rustic bar with a full restaurant menu.

In other words, greatness.

After asking an attractive young brunette girl sitting near me at the bar what she was eating, I ordered what she was having: Jambalaya Supreme, the traditional Creole rice dish brimming with sausage, shrimp, crawfish, pork tasso, and rabbit. It was awesome, and borderline overwhelming spicy, but not quite too powerful that I couldn't eat every bite. Offbeat Magazine rated Coop's Place's Jambalaya Supreme as the No. 1 jambalaya in New Orleans. Check out Coop's Place, where you don't wanna cross the bartender, at this Web site: http://www.coopsplace.net/.

My final full day in New Orleans had me wanting to try something I hadn't come to the city knowing about. I had several suggestions, including Coop's Place, from others who were seasoned New Orleans veterans. Fortunately, the concierge at the Crowne Plaza pointed me to Oceana Grill at the corner of Bourbon and Conti.

A friendly, boisterous local implored people to come inside and eat, so and stopped, looked at the menu, asked him what to try, and went in.

He told me I had to try the barbecue shrimp. I'm glad I followed his advice.

It's not barbecue shrimp in the fashion you're probably thinking - overcooked shrimp wrapped in partially cooked bacon with some bottle sauce thrown on top. Nothing like that.

Instead, it was large, unpeeled boiled shrimp soaking in a thin, soupy, Worcestershire-based barbecue sauce full of unrecognizable fresh herbs and spices. The key was to not only peel the shrimp, dip them in the liquid, and consume, but to take the sliced french bread brought to the table and dip it enthusiastically into the liquid and herbs.

I ate two and a half baskets of the slice bread, which translates to 16 slices. That's how good the sauce was.

And the barbecue shrimp was only the appetizer. I got a fried shrimp po-boy to accompany its boiled shellfish brethren. Of course, I also dipped the sandwich into the sauce, too.

The meal was surprisingly good and just what I was looking for on my final night in the city. I was glad I had taken the gamble on a spot I hadn't heard of until about 20 minutes before going there. Learn more about the hidden gem at http://www.oceanagrill.com/.

That pretty much wraps up my food tour. I left out a few things - Abita Amber, Abita Turbo Dog, Hubig's Pies. All good stuff.

But what I've chronicled here should give a good idea of what I ate, how it tasted, and whether or not it should be tried during your next top in the Crescent City.

In summary: Try everything I just mentioned. It's New Orleans.

Bad meals don't happen.

I Heart NOLa: A Series

My return from New Orleans has prompted me to construct a three-part miniseries of posts involving what I enjoyed during my trip to New Orleans.

Monday night/Tuesday morning's blogging that evolved (or devolved, depending on how you look at it) into a love letter to New Orleans' unmatched artistic experience made me realize that it's far too difficult to just write a blog talking about my trip. Instead, it needs to be compartmentalized; well, compartmentalized as best as one can categorize such an intensely hard-to-classify locale.

My first entry in the I Heart NOLa miniseries will delve into the food experience I enjoyed while in the city. Everything from savory, market-style sandwiches to high-brow dining to vintage desserts will be chronicled.

The second entry will focus on the music I heard, and the third will be the human encounters I experienced.

As I return to the work before me, I leave you with a New Orleans icon ... the one, the only ... Professor Longhair.

Monday, July 21, 2008

New Orleans

I was trying to think of a creative introduction, or impressive alliteration, or metaphoric portrayal of life in New Orleans.

I couldn't.

There's just too much to encapsulate when you're trying to introduce the uninformed into a world of overwhelmingly transcendental sensory experience.

Cuisine. Music. Architecture. Diversity. The River.

Everything about New Orleans is unique. When you grow up in a literal and figurative black-and-white, rural Deep South small town, a place such as New Orleans is fresh and lively, yet relaxing and comforting at the same time.

New Orleans is different from other cities. Come to think of it, New Orleans is different from everywhere.

While a small-town upbringing makes you think just about any large city is overwhelming and diverse, no place makes as significant an impact on your senses as New Orleans. It's not your typical major U.S. city, i.e. Dallas, Houston, St. Louis, etc.

None of those cities are more than 300 years old. None of those cities have been directly ruled for significant portions of time by the British, French, and Spanish. Throw in the Haitian-voodoo culture, years of Catholicism-based practices, and pinches of Italian, German, and Greek cultures, and the city's heritage reveals a broader spectrum of customs and deeper layers of influence.

The amalgam of cultures results in one label - Creole.

Creole is not Cajun. Creole is more urban, Spanish, and West African. Cajun is more rural, poor, and white. Both have a strong French base, but many people believe the terms are interchangeable, and often label New Orleans as a Cajun city.

Cajuns do exist in New Orleans. However, New Orleans is Creole. Lafayette is Cajun. Baton Rouge is Cajun. New Orleans is not. In fact, it's hard to label New Orleans as anything but a city made up of countless ethnic groups that have all somehow retained their individual characteristics while avoiding homogenization. Yet at the same time, there has been somewhat of a homogenization, otherwise there would be no Creole.

But perhaps the most striking difference in New Orleans to me is its deeply rooted cultural base in one frame of thought/being/academia that consists of so many branches: Arts.

When most people hear arts, they think artists: Monet, Renoir, Picasso, Remington, Da Vinci, Van Gogh.

However, that's just a limb on The Great Tree of Arts. The first definition for "art" on dictionary.com is ...

"the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance."

Doesn't that sound awesome? And doesn't that sound like New Orleans?

I admit. I'm not a well-traveled person. But of the places I've been, no place comes close to representing the epitome of arts or the complexity in the capability of the human mind than New Orleans. Everything is an art form in New Orleans.

Masterpieces are seen throughout the realm of the human experience in New Orleans, from the grand scope of the local cuisine, to the European architecture, to the assortment of musical genres, to the people who make their livings on the street: Children tap-dancing, adolescents and adults playing trombones, trumpets, tubas, guitars, and harmonicas, the artists who hang their hand-crafted pieces along the wrought-iron fence of Jackson Square.

It's all art. It takes a mind capable of understanding the abstract, how a mind can start with nothing and create it into something others enjoy.

When I was in college, I would have never said that what I do - sports writing - is an art.

It is.

Any kind of writing is an art, as long as the writer puts his or her time into it. That doesn't mean all writing is art, just like you can't throw water colors at a piece of paper, make something up explaining it, and call it art.
Photography is art. Sport is art. Public speaking is art. Poetry is art. Art is why the Greeks were so intellectually far beyond the Romans despite predating them by so long.

But if an individual is genuine and sincere about throwing paint onto paper, explaining what it means, and being proud of making nothing into something, it is indeed art.

And that's what's different about New Orleans. The people you encounter in the city - mind you, a city still recovering less than three years after the worst natural disaster in American history - are genuine and sincere. From the folks working in the restaurants, to the men hauling luggage up and down hotel elevators, to the musicians honing their crafts in French Quarter clubs and bars, they're genuinely and sincerely glad you're there with them experiencing the experience that is New Orleans. Sure, they may be extra nice because they want a tip or want you to spend more money during your visit, but that's the cost for arts. Not everybody is capable of comprehending the abstract, of making nothing into something, of taking a few raw materials and making them into a grand creation, or simply appreciating the aptitude it takes to do so. Therefore, yes, it should cost something to attain the arts, or try to even if you're not truly able to understand them from an internally intellectual standpoint.

I love statistics. I'm a sports freak, and I love number-crunching. If I see something on TV telling me Tim Duncan has more playoff double-doubles than any other player in the past decade, I'm happy because I know those figures are concrete and they're supposed to please me since I'm a Duncan fan.

But when I hear the blues, something hits me inside; the notes, the sound, the words, something about the abstract creation of an aesthetically-pleasing art makes me happy in a way concrete values don't. What would seem like a five-minute soliloquy of self-pity to an individual incapable of comprehending that art is a five-minute romp of happiness for me. The feeling of understanding another person through the genuine expression of arts creates an intangible connection, almost a relaxation, that figures and facts can't elicit.

I'm a logical, reason-based person. But I'm the first to admit, our current world is dominated too greatly by the concrete: zeros, decimals, digits, figures, facts, ratings. Those incapable of thinking in abstract terms dismiss the arts as meaningless, baseless, illogical, pointless, soft, when in fact, numbers lie. Facts aren't always facts because you can't get the same thing out of a string of numbers you can a string of letters.

Numbers make values; letters make words. Values make more values; words make stories, stories make books, books make novels, novels make epics, epics make volumes, volumes shape history.

Therefore, while the concrete may appear solid on the surface, it often lies more than the abstract. Sciences can't explain everything; arts don't try to. That's why they're more genuine.

New Orleans doesn't care if you don't like it. It's just going to keep on doing what it's been doing for 300-plus years ... making memories, shaping lives, and existing in a genuinely abstract and good-hearted collective soul.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Back from the Ozarks

I took a full week of vacation last week, hoping to recharge my batteries while anticipating next week's trek to New Orleans.
***
Before I start, I'd like to point out that I hate it when people say "recharge my batteries." It's a sickening cliche that should not be allowed to be printed or published. So, instead of simply going back, deleting "recharge my batteries," and typing in something else, I wanted to point out this mental hiccup (another fairly stupid cliche) so the average reader could understand the thought process of one who is self-editing.

Therefore ...
***
I took a full week of vacation last week, hoping to pump fresh life juice into my weary digits, limbs, torso, and skull while anticipating next week's trek to New Orleans.

Last Monday (June 30), I traveled to my cousin's house in Marshall for the first time since his family had moved across town. I arrived at 1:30 p.m. I departed at 3:45 a.m. That's what happens when my cousin and I have a day to ourselves with Nintendo and Super Nintendo at our disposal.

He received a small contraption that plays eight-bit and 16-bit games, which are the formats used by the original NES and Super NES, for his birthday. We played original Tecmo Bowl and RBI Baseball, along with the NES's Bases Loaded II and the original NCAA Basketball for SNES.

Finally we settled on Tecmo Super NBA Basketball, which uses the roster from the 1991-92 season. Boston being his favorite team, we started an 82-game season with the Celtics. Unlike the current version, I'm a fan of the old-school Celts. Our starting lineup is Dee Brown, Reggie Lewis, Larry Bird, Kevin McHale, and Robert Parish, with Kevin Gamble, Ed Pinckney, and Joe Kleine coming off the bench.

I know. It's scary.

We jumped out to a 6-0 start, and shall commence our season the next time we can coordinate an off day and secure the TV for a full 12 hours.

Tuesday I watched some 7-on-7 football and saw Carthage beat Elysian Fields and Marshall. The ole alma mater is playing in this weekend's 7-on-7 state championship tournament for Class A, 2A, and 3A schools.

*Side note: Although I am an objective sports writer specializing in the coverage of East Texas high school athletics, I'm really looking forward to seeing Carthage play in the new Bulldog Stadium. Carthage opens the new stadium on Friday, Sept. 5 against arch rival Henderson. Great way to open the new stadium. Love scheduling your No. 1 historic rival for your stadium opener. (No, I'm not being sarcastic. It's glorious. Unfortunately, I'll be watching Pine Tree at Paris. No comment.)

Wednesday, my family and I left for Missouri. We traveled north to Texarkana, on to Little Rock, and up through the small burgs of North-Central Arkansas: Greenbrier, Damascus (as my dad says, "A little piece ... of the Middle East"), Clinton, Marshall, Harrison, etc., deep into the Ozarks.

We arrived in Springfield, Mo. - the city in which I entered this earthly realm and one of two significant metropolitan areas in the Ozarks - just before 9 p.m. As soon as we checked in, I rode with my parents to Hong Kong Inn for another edition of the Brooks Boys' favorite Springfield tradition - cashew chicken.

Before you judge, I want you to know this cashew chicken is better than any other Chinese food I've ever had. And although cashew chicken is more of a Chi-merican concoction, it's delightful if it comes from Hong Kong Inn. Vietnam War-era immigrants from Laos and Cambodia deluged the Springfield area, resulting in the present-day existence of more than 100 Chinese food outlets in greater Springfield.

And if you're visiting Springfield, you better find a good Chinese spot. That's about the only good food you'll find in Greene County. Also check Max Orient in Battlefield Mall for some decent Asian dish. Good fried rice.

With a two-bed motel room, I refuse to sleep in the same bed as my 16-year-old brother. It's not happening. So after much trial and tribulation, a roll-away bed was procured from motel staff. I spent the night reliving the nightmare Elaine Benes experienced while visiting Jerry's parents in Del Boca Vista, Fla. The bed had a thick, iron bar running horizontally across the mid-back region, a few inches below my shoulder blades.

Wednesday night's sleeping - or lack thereof - gave way to Thursday morning's disaster. We drove a block to McDonald's for breakfast. I ordered two "Southern-style chicken biscuits," and soon regretted it. I ate a biscuit and a half, and then felt like crap for the next four or five hours. I never threw up, but I came close. I took a quarter of a tablet of Phenergan. For those of you unaware of the power of the world's choice for preventing motion sickness and nausea, Phenergan comes in tiny tablets.

For good reason.

Phenergan is powerful. I took a quarter of a tablet, which is equal to half a Bacon Bit, and after my stomach sickness subsided, I felt like someone had caned me for half an hour. Not only was I drowsy, but I couldn't feel my extremities either.

It sounds cool. But it's not. It's awful, especially when you're wading through Yankee outdoorsmen at the Bass Pro Shops headquarters in Springfield.

Somehow, I survived, and we then went to Battlefield Mall, where I couldn't partake of my usual Max Orient fried rice because of the McDonald's/Phenergan/Bass Pro fiasco. After that, we went to El Chico. Don't get me started. I like El Chico. I grew up on it. But you're telling me that we travel 500 miles to eat at a bland, tasteless, Yankee version of a Mexican restaurant when we can drive to Marshall and get the actual stuff?

The woman sitting behind us with her two children was unbelievable. Typical you're-serving-me-so-you-better-please-me Midwestern hag. She ordered the fancy guacamole that that waitress has to prepare table-side, allowing the customer to dictate how much of what goes into it. After eating it for 30 minutes, she determined it was too spicy. The waitress warned her not to order the chimichanga if she didn't enjoy spicy foods, but she said she could handle it and ordered it anyway.

Olga sent that back after eating half of it. I have nothing left to say except that none of us at our table could taste the hot sauce, so we figured the guacamole and chimichanga probably didn't have any heat either.

We then traveled 45 minutes east to the town of Mansfield, where my mom's parents live. Waiting for us was ham. I'll eat anything pork-related, chicken biscuits and El Chico be damned. The ham was just the beginning of a stay at the grandparents' house that featured bacon, eggs, sausage, and biscuits and gravy for breakfast, along with fried chicken, barbecue chicken, and chicken and dumplings for various suppers.

I now weigh 532 pounds.

But seriously, it was good. I think Nanny decided to fix more Southern-oriented fare since I was there.

A visit to my uncle's country house filled Friday, along with a trip to Springfield landmark Steak 'N Shake. For the record, I hate Steak 'N Shake. A bad experience in Arlington before a Rangers game has forced me to ban Steak 'N Shake forever, so I sat there, drinking water while my family ate.

My brother got really mad at my dad and me, as did my mom throughout the trip, for making fun of the locals constantly.

When our waitress walked up to take our order, she asked my dad what he wanted on his double steakburger. The following exchange was absolute hilarity. Apparently, these things come plain. Since nobody has ever encountered a place that serves its hamburgers plain to start with instead of loaded, we were dumbfounded.

After the awkwardness of my family ordering, the waitress came around to me. I said, "I don't need anything. I'm good."

She looked at me as if I had just stated that I enjoy throwing kittens into wood chippers. Apparently nobody, especially with my accent, had ever set foot in Steak 'N Shake and not wanted any of their horrific food. Thankfully, I couldn't spot anyone eating the establishment's trademark spaghetti dish that is COVERED IN CHILI AND A POUND OF SHREDDED CHEDDAR CHEESE. You read that right. Apparently ground steak-cheese-bean pasta is to Midwestern Yankees what fried chicken is to Southerners.

Saturday saw a return trip to Springfield. We went to the mall, I bought some shorts and a pair of jeans, we ate at the food court. I made the mistake of trying Pan Pacific Grill instead of the usual Max Orient. Bad move. As we left the food court for the parking left, a very comely blonde standing about six feet tall with makeup on - that's a big deal for girls up there - open-toe shoes, nice jeans, and a fedora stood in line at Max Orient waiting to order. I knew that was a sign that I should have stuck with my guns.

The girl brings me to another point: The male-female courting dynamic in mid-size metro Midwest is quite different from that in the South. At home, I'm painfully non-aggressive, making eye contact repeatedly only to draw the conclusion that the girl probably has something wrong with her medically or psychologically, or that I'd just be wasting my time. Men make eye contact, maintain eye contact, and commence to follow their female targets visually as they walk by and traverse the next 30 yards.

Up north, I'm The Big Bad Wolf. Men don't look at women up there, and if they do, it's out of the corner of their eyes. So there I was, resembling a character from O Brother Where Art Thou, and looking at every attractive girl I encountered. The look I received several times was, "How dare you have the audacity to look at me in that manner?!"

I know it's hard to believe, but I was intimidating.

I was relentless.

I was myself.

Apparently geographic location has a lot to do with your role in the male-female courting dynamic. Simply put, I'd be unstoppable up north. It's all in my gait and my accent. It's science.

After the sociological study, we went to watch Hancock at a local theater. The tickets were $5 apiece. It made me feel like I was watching a bootleg in Latvia. The girl tearing the ticket made me momentarily drop my ticket stub, causing her to grab it, which caused her to cup my left hand with both of her hands ever so gently. She giggled, saying, "Oh, I'm sorry." I looked up and said, "Naw, that's all right. You're fine."

She melted. Either this cute brown-haired, brown-eyed young lady thought I was so pathetically clumsy I couldn't hold on to a ticket stub, or the essence of my Southern charisma was so potent her limbs didn't work properly.

I'm going with the ladder.

I knew she had melted because as we left, I made long eye contact with her again, and she held it - much different from other Springfield women. She had nowhere to go. I was on top of my game, which was to have no game, but to simply be from the South, have an accent, and be a fleeting novelty of a human encounter in another random Saturday at her job.

Sunday, we departed from Mansfield a couple of bills richer thanks to my Papa. He's awesome, but not just because he gives us money. He's 80 and he still runs an AC/heating business. His Southern Kentucky/Cumberland Mountain upbringing has served him well.

We traveled south a different route, through the other significant metro area in the Ozarks: Bentonville-Rogers-Springdale-Fayetteville, and later Fort Smith. In other words, Hog Heaven.

Knowing we'd be passing through the heart of Razorback country, I wore my T-shirt that has "LSU" on the front and "GEAUX TIGERS" on the back the entire day. We stopped in Fort Smith for lunch. I stepped out of the car, proud of my clothing choice for the day, and rubbed purple-and-gold glory all over the south side of Fort Smith.

To my surprise, the Ozarks extend much further south than I realized. We didn't get out of the mountains until somewhere between Mena and DeQueen. Like every return trip from Missouri - by the way, this was my first trip back to the Ozarks since Christmas of 2004 - when you see that Texarkana city limits sign, you feel a comforting sense of home.

We stopped in Jefferson for gas, then shortly arrived in Carthage, road weary but with a satisfying trip under the belt.

Next up for me is New Orleans. I'll be going next week for a four-night stay. I could possibly eat myself into a coma.

The Big Easy will be a different story on the male-female front. There, I'll be a young fawn, innocent to the questionable thoughts and practices of attractive women. Maybe instead of the aw-shucks Southern boy, I can play the aw-shucks-I'm-too-nice-a-guy card on this trip.

Wait, that's not a card. That's actually me. Bummer. Or not. I don't know.

Once I return from New Orleans, I'm sure I won't want to return to work. I'll need some rest, although I won't get it, to recharge those batteries again.

I mean, pump fresh life juice back into my cells and their mitochondria.

Happy 95th, Pinetop

Blues piano legend Pinetop Perkins turned 95 years old today.



He can't read sheet music and plays completely by ear. He was not educated past the third grade, and says he can't read much of anything. It's incredible he's still alive considering he's smoked since his mother starting buying it for him when he was nine.



www. pinetopperkins. com
http://en. wikipedia. org/wiki/Pinetop_Perkins



Saturday, June 28, 2008

Trip down basketball's memory lane

Had to post this now that I've found it.

Looking up random stuff on YouTube, I found this gem of Wake Forest Demon Deacon great Randolph Childress, who set the ACC Tournament scoring record in 1995. He did whatever he wanted during the tournament, knocking down everything out to NBA range.

He's a college basketball legend to my cousin and I, who still look back and marvel at what he was able to do in 1995. He's now playing professionally in Italy. Never had a great NBA career, but he didn't have to for us to remember him. (Remember, Tim Duncan was a sophomore on that WF team.)

Monday, June 23, 2008

Carlin ain't got squat on Diddley

The Sunday passing of George Carlin resulted in the mass broadcast/transmission/publication of various tributes honoring the comedian.

Let me get something out of the way: I never thought George Carlin was funny.

At all.

Everyone considers Carlin the thinker's comedian, as if he's some sort of Mark Twain figure. In fact, he's won an award name after Mark Twain for his humor.

He's well known for his Seven Words You Can't Say on TV, or whatever it's called. Obviously it took a real genius to come up with that.

Carlin's passing made me think about another recent death in the ranks of fame: Ellas Otha Bates. You may know him better as Bo Diddley.

Bo Diddley died at age 79 on June 2, only three weeks ago. One of the most accomplished musicians in American history was celebrated with by-the-way-Bo-Diddley-died briefs from television networks and news outlets.

I'm a CNN guy, but for the network to have Larry King dedicate an entire show to the life of George Carlin, while doing nothing of the sort for someone such as Diddley, is an oversight of the most egregious breed. Bill Maher sat on King's set and waxed poetic about the greatness of Carlin and his method of analyzing American materialism.

I doubt Carlin criticized materialism too much each time he drove to the bank.

Diddley influenced music in ways achieved by few others in the second half of the 20th century. Artists from Elvis to Bruce Springsteen to The Animals to The Doors to The Who to Bob Seger to George Thorogood benefited from the magic of Diddley's trademark rectangular guitar.

No matter where you turn in popular music during the past 60 years, Bo Diddley is there. Look at the past 60 years of comedy; I doubt you'll find George Carlin's fingerprints all over them.

Bo Diddley deserved far more respect than he received when he passed three weeks ago. Don't make the mistake the national media has and let the legacy of Ellas Otha Bates fade into history unmentioned.